If only dreams could come true

Dad just walks into the house!!!! Mom and I cannot believe our eyes. We are in complete shock, yet extremely delighted. We keep staring at him for a while in utter disbelief.

Ten years is a long time. Dad is silent. He doesn’t speak a word. He just looks around to see how our house has changed completely. Mom looks at him expecting some appreciation. After all she has done an excellent job all these years.

I am showing dad my wedding card and mahesh’s picture hoping for a positive response. But I’m disappointed when I see no reactions on his face. Is he happy, is he mad at me, is he sad….I have no idea.

I’m jumping around with the thought that dad would be present at my wedding. Am I dreaming or is it real? I go to mom and ask her to pinch me. No it’s real. It’s real. Mom and dad together would do the kanyadaana……what more can I ask for….life is so unpredictable…anything can happen anytime….i’m the happiest person in this world today…..

I call aysh to share this wonderful news…...but she doesn’t pick the call….stupid its midnight for her….so what can’t she pick my call….i’m dying to tell her…….let me call sush….i pick my phone to see ‘Luck calling’…..arre why is he calling now….hey wait a minute…so akshay’s dad will be back too…he has to wait for a little more than nine years…..and sush’s dad will be back in another two to three years…..everyone is going to come back….all smiles :)

I go back to dad.....i ask him……dad where were you all these years……what happened……we thought you were dead…….he doesn’t answer and doesn’t even look at me…..i ask again…please tell me dad…where were you all these years…….he says he had survived an accident and had decided not to return back to us and we all thought he was dead in that mishap….

I’m crying uncontrollably…..just the thought that dad wanted to get rid of us is killing me……did I make a bad daughter……was he so fed up of us that he chose to stay away from us all alone in a remote place…...so irritated with us that he didn’t bother to contact us for ten long years……

But then I think….dad never met with an accident….we lost him for hemorrhage in an ICU of a hospital………I remember everything……it runs like a movie in front of me…..from how he was taken to the hospital that night to how we buried his body……all this in a span of 38 hours….

In this state of chaos and confusion, unable to realize what’s real and what’s not, I hear my mobile screaming. It’s the alarm. I wake up to my world. Yes it was a dream.

If only dreams could come true.

will miss you.....

Weather has been more pleasant and beautiful than ever in Mysore these days. It’s kind of gloomy and dark all the time with glimpse of sunshine once in a while. It seems like it’s gonna pour anytime. But it doesn’t. Occasional drizzle to make it more romantic. It’s perfect weather to go on a ride to Chamundi on ‘my’ style with the song ‘nee amruthadhare’ playing on my iPod. It’s perfect weather to go home and eat bisi bisi menasinakayi bajji prepared by mom. It’s perfect weather to sit in the front yard with ‘P.S. I Love you’ on one hand and a coffee mug on the other (hmmmm….the aroma of the perfect filter coffee by mom:)).
While I was dreaming about all of these, reality hit me. All this will be gone in a couple of months. I will be far from mysore, far from chamundi, far from home, from mom, from kannada, from our campus, from the beautiful rains, from the amazing sunsets, from my style, from filter coffee, from the ever-pleasant weather, from weekend treks, from kannada movies, from rajesh krishnan songs, from traffic/pollution -free roads, from bicycle rides in the campus, from the majestic mysore palace, from masal-puri and churmuri, from the good-to-avoid food at FC1, from the occasional trips to blore……..
I love this city. I love everything about this city. The roads, the people, the places, the monuments, my school, my college, my infy campus, the weather. I love its simplicity; I love its old-world charm; I love the romance in the air. I feel very proud about this place and I love that feeling. They say every city has one special and unique place one would emotionally be attached to. One place you would like to go in times of joy and sorrow. Chamundi has been that place for me. I have made countless trips to this magical place mostly with close friends and sometimes alone. There is something mysterious about this place. Something special that you feel the moment you enter the arch at the foothill. I have been to this place at all times of the day, at all seasons of the year, by road, by steps. I have had endless chat about friends, friendship, love, gossip, universe, stars and family. There have been times when I didn’t speak a word throughout and still conveyed a lot, times when I have cried my heart out for reasons that seem silly now, times when I have been genuinely happy and thankful about everyone I have in my life.
There are a lot of memories associated with this place. It is here that I have grown up, made friends-forever, achieved, learned to value relationships, understood love, experienced loss, played, fought, cried, sang, danced, smiled……..
I can’t imagine that this will just be a place I’m gonna visit once in a while. I can’t imagine I will have to try hard to take out time to go on a ride to chamundi.
I’m gonna miss you terribly :(

I could die for you....

I have been astonished that men could die martyrs for their religion
I have shuddered at it
I shudder no more
I could be martyr'd for my religion
Love is my religion
And I could die for that
I could die for you
-by John Keats

faith...

Just remember one thing. If you are going to do the right thing, no one can do any wrong to you. This is one thing I have always believed in life.

Love you motu :)

yummmmm.....

Chocolate Devotion @ Cold Stone
Lime Slush @ Green Leaf
Double Choco Chip @ Starbucks
Special Masala Puri on Double Road

Chocolate Fantasy @ Cafe Coffee Day
Samosa Masala @ Mahesh Prasad
Chicken Burrito @ Chipotle
Gobi Manchurian @ Shringar
Special Churmuri @ Ballal Circle
Ebony & Ivory @ Pizza Hut
Chocolate Ecstasy @ Chill Spot
Mozzarella Sticks @ Giordano’s
Hot Wings @ KFC
Chocolate Sundae with whipped cream and chocolate chip with a chocolate dipped cherry on top @ Moon Struck
………..

............

It’s ayudha pooja tomorrow…..eve of ayudha pooja was always fun as we children got to play in water while washing vehicles and decorating them with flowers for the pooja...some 12-14 years back, all three of us, myself, sachin and dad would be busy washing the only vehicle we owned then, TVS XL 50…..the concluding part of the wash, wiping the vehicle with a dry cloth was assigned to me and sachin…...once we were done, we clapped and jumped and shouted…daddy gaadi ready…daddy gaadi ready…..he he…..it was fun….today while I was busy washing all three vehicles all by myself, it brought back all those memories….when I think of it, it’s shocking to realize that things have changed so much in not more than a decade…….now we own things that we never had imagined we would……we have lost things that we never had thought we would……not even in our wildest dreams…….they say one has to lose something to gain something……. but who decides on what is it that we lose or gain…..can ‘that’ something’ and ‘this’ something be measured on the same weight……can materialistic comforts be compared with emotions, lives, moments.….can things we gain replace things we lose…..every person is unique…..every relationship is unique……no one can take anyone’s place in one’s life……as you go on losing, voids keep getting accumulated at that small corner of your life……some forget that corner exists, some keep visiting it once in a while and some live in that corner……..what if people were given an option to choose what they want to lose or gain….maybe we do get a chance and we don’t recognize it……even better, what if we had selective memory so that we could shift delete everything that hurt……maybe this is how life is and we have just got used to feeling unhappy about everything that’s happening in our lives….maybe if we had what we don’t have now, and didn’t have what we do have now, even then I would have cribbed….life still goes on with or without anyone……..this is going somewhere……..i don’t know what I’m trying to say…..it’s all so cluttered…so fuzzy…..this is not what I wanted to write when I started…..

Anyways trying to end this with a happy note, mysore looks beautiful in the night like a bride all set for the D-day :-)

ganesha

I didn't know I was an artist until I did this myself on ganesha habba :-)

sundara snehavidu....

This is my favorite scene from my favorite movie in kannada.....america america.....apart from various other aspects it portrays like brain drain, economic recession, self employment, attitude of the Indians abroad and so on, this movie is a beautiful piece of art of friendship, untold love and the essence of relationships .

Bhoomi: En yochne madtidya surya.
Surya: Ee sethuve kattida mahaan vyakthi bagge yochistidini. Entha adbhuthawada srushti alwa?
Bhoomi: Esht chennagide alla. Ee golden gate bridge nan favorite spot. Nammoralli namdondu favorite spot ittalla ade thara. Weekend bandre saaku nanillige od band bidtini.
Surya: ide thara ond sethve manushyara manassu manassugala naduve iddidre esht chennagirtittu. Hel le beku anta ansodanna kooda naav helodilla. Manassinolge muchchidthiwi.
Bhoomi: Shashank nin hatra tumba vishya muchitidane. Avangeega kelsa illa. Tumba desperate agidane. Naneega sales girl aagi kelsa madtidini.
Surya: ah..so what…ond doddu estate owner maglu anta nod de, eega sales girl aagi kelsa madtidya andre, I’m really proud of you.
Bhoomi: Ee vyavasthe tumba strong aagide kano. Manushyana ego galnella kattarsi hakutte. Ond kade dandiyagi materialistic comfortsna kottu sukhavagirsutte. Kelavru, ee shashank nanthavru ee sukha ella naane sampadsiddu ankoltare. Aadre ee sukha vyavasthe kottiddu ashte.
Soorya: Bhoomi neen sukhvagidyalla?
Bhoomi: Sukha? Ide andre ide…illa andre illa. Kelavru illinavru, ondonu dollar na koodittaglu 35 rinda gunsi 35 pattu sukha jaasti aithu ankoltare. Ee sukhakkoskara naav huttiro desha bhashe ooru ella bitbit barbeku. Identha sukha helu. Nam aatma ne maari nakli kirita totkond haage.
Soorya: How’s your internal life? Shashank ninna chennag nodkotidana?
Bhoomi: he’s a nice guy. Aadre tumba superficial manushya. Chikkandininda nan prapanchadalli iddavru neevibre. One fine day, avnu nan gandanagi thath anta illig ethkond band bitta. Neen alle ulkondbitte. Naanu ibru friends nu kalkondbitte.
Surya: Neevibru illi band mele, nanobne alli esht suffer maad de anta aa devrige gottu. Nimgadre at least jagla adoke antanadru ibridiri, aadre nange…bari gida mara gudda samudra ivugal jothene matadtidde.
Bhoomi: Soorya, neen tumba strong emotions iro manushya, nija helu, yaro neen preetsid hudgi? Ellidalo avlu? Yaak neen avalna madve aglilla?
Surya: naan preetsid hudgi nanna preetislilla.
Bhoomi: Neen jorag koogi helbekagittu ‘I love you’ anta.
Soorya: Enanta?
Bhoomi: I LOVE YOU anta…
Surya: Naan ankondidde preeti annodu hrudayada pisu mathu anta. Koog beku anta gottirlilla.
Bhoomi: Houdu kano. Kelav dad hudgirge kivine kelsolla. Neen jorag kirch helidrene arthvagodu.
Surya: oh…avlu kivudi….naan mooga…he he…

disgust...

She said that she feels like a road sign with birds shitting on her....

ಅಮೃತಧಾರೆ

ಗೆಳತಿ ಗೆಳತಿ...ಕ್ಷೇಮವೆ ಸೌಖ್ಯವೇ.....

ಬಾಳು ಪೂರ್ಣವಾಯಿತೆ...ಜೀವ ಧನ್ಯವಾಯಿತೆ

ಗೆಳೆಯ ಗೆಳೆಯ....ಬಾಳಿನ ಯಾತ್ರೆಯು...

ದೂರದಾ ದಿಗಂತಕೆ ದಿವ್ಯವಾಗಿ ಸಾಗಲಿ....ಗೆಳೆಯ..

ಜೀವವನ್ನು ತೇಯುವೆ...ಹೂವಿನಂತೆ ಹಾಸುವೆ....ನೋಯದಂತೆ ಕಾಯುವೆ....

ನಾಳೆಯೆಂಬ ಮಿಥ್ಯೆಯೋ.....ಕಳೆದುದು ಚರಿತ್ರೆಯೋ ......ಪ್ರೀತಿಯೊಂದೆ ಸತ್ಯವೋ.....

ಗೆಳೆಯ ಗೆಳೆಯ....ಬಾಳಿನ ಯಾತ್ರೆಯು...
ದೂರದಾ ದಿಗಂತಕೆ ದಿವ್ಯವಾಗಿ ಸಾಗಲಿ....ಗೆಳೆಯ

Law??!!

If you thought laws were made to protect people, have a look at these articles in the Shia Personal Status Law, also called the Rape Law.

Obedience, readiness for intercourse and not leaving the house without the permission of the husband are the duties of the wife, violation of every one of them will mean disobedience to the husband.
Rape within marriage is legal.
Rape is included in the category of Zina (adultery) and the victims who are minor girls or women are stoned to death. (Their unpardonable crime is to have been raped.)
In a rape case, circumstantial evidences are not considered and there has to be at least four adult male witnesses.
If a rape is proven (which does not happen in 99 out of 100 cases), the rapist is obliged to pay the victim the amount typically received as marriage payment to similar brides (and can go scot free)
(As no other punishment is mentioned, the punishment of rape, if proven, can be only financial compensation)
In a rape case, the evidence of women is originally inadmissible on account of their weakness of understanding; want of memory and incapacity of governing.
Adultery also includes any type of intimate relationship between a girl/woman and a man to whom she is not permanently or temporarily married. Such a relationship does not necessarily mean a sexual relationship.
The law denies women the right to leave their homes except for ‘legitimate’ purposes.
Women are forbidden from working or receiving education without their husband’s permission.
Women must wear make-up if their husbands wished.
Guardianship of children is granted to either father or paternal grandfather.

These are the articles in the Shia Law to which a new amendment has been passed in July which gives the husband right to starve his wife/wives who refuse sex.

I cannot believe such a society can exist. I cannot believe there is a set of people who support such laws. I cannot believe there is a government which passes such bills for political gains. My heart goes out for the women who have to go through such barbaric and heinous acts all though their lives. I pity those children who grow up witnessing women being stoned and caned to death.

I feel extremely grateful for being associated with family, friends, society, city, nation, government, legislation, people who respect my individuality.
I’m grateful to be able to ride back from work in the night and still feel safe.
I’m grateful for not having gone through a traumatic experience of being beaten and chased by random strangers for dancing in a pub being a woman.
I’m grateful to be able to express my thoughts, take my decisions, and exercise my right to education.

Invisible

Let’s say you are in a party…..no one has specifically arranged for this one…no invitations, no plans…..you are just there for some reason….there is a big hall where everyone is gathered and a small room in the corner….the room is made of glass which is transparent from inside and not from outside…..now you enter the party and quickly get into the small room….you can see everyone entering and leaving the hall….but no one can see you…..when someone enters, you decide if you would like to talk to him/her….you call out to people who you would want to talk to and get back into the room…..but what about people who would want to talk to you…..they wouldn’t know if you are present…..so why get into the room??

Sounds crappy??...he he….it actually is…..but this is what I imagine when I see the status ‘invisible’ or ‘appear offline’……somehow it is kind of irritating to realize that someone is online but not visible…..i do that sometimes but not all the time…..maybe it is understandable for people who are extremely popular or have a huge set of friends who would bombard them with messages as soon as they come online….has never happened to me….so will never understand :-)

special..

Sometimes you get so much of love and affection from people that you start wondering if you really deserve it. I feel lucky for having known people that I know. I feel lucky to be able to understand the love and care shown to me. I feel lucky to be able to reciprocate. Thanks uncle, aunty, roomy and nisha. It was really overwhelming. I’m not sure if I could express what I was feeling. I was speechless. Thanks for making me feel so special.

Brida

‘But how will I know who my Soulmate is?’ Brida felt that this was one of the most important questions she had ever asked in her life.

Wicca laughed. She had already asked herself that question and with the same eager anxiety as the young woman opposite her. You could tell your Soulmate by the light in their eyes, and since time began, that has been how people have recognized their true love.

‘By taking risks’, she said to Brida. ‘By risking failure, disappointment, disillusion, but never ceasing in your search for Love. As long as you keep looking, you will triumph in the end.’

Wicca started picking up the cards from the table, and Brida sensed that her time was nearly up. Yet there was one other question to ask.

‘Is it possible to meet more than one Soulmate in each life?’

‘Yes,’ thought Wicca with a certain bitterness. And when that happens, the heart is divided, and the result is pain and suffering. Yes, we can meet three or four Soulmates, because we are many and we are scattered. The young woman was asking the right questions, but she had to avoid answering them.

‘The essence of creation is one and one alone,’ she said. ‘And that essence is called Love. Love is the force that brings back together, in order to condense the experience dispersed in many lives and many parts of the world.’

‘We are responsible for the whole earth because we do not know where they might be, those Soulmates we were from the beginning of time. If they are well, then we, too will be happy. If they are not well, we will suffer, however unconsciously, a portion of their pain, Above all, though, we are responsible for re-encountering, at least once in every incarnation, the Soulmate who is sure to cross our path. Even if it is only for a matter of moments, because those moments bring with them a Love so intense that it justifies the rest of our days.’

The dog barked in the kitchen. Wicca finished picking up the cards and looked again at Brida.

‘We can also allow our Soulmate to pass us by, without accepting him or her, or even noticing. Then we will need another incarnation in order to find that Soulmate. And because of our selfishness, we will be condemned to the worst torture humankind ever invented for itself: loneliness.’

caring helps..

"What do we live for, if not to make the world less difficult for each other"

Caring helps.
I care about your feelings, your future,
your happiness, your health.
I care about what you think and
what you wish for.
I care about who you are and
who you would like to be.

And knowing you care back,
makes the world so much less difficult for me!

Life...

ಇರುವುದೆಲ್ಲವ ಬಿಟ್ಟು ಇರದುದರೆಡೆಗೆ ತುಡಿವುದೇ ಜೀವನ!!

In the name of god, religion and blind beliefs, Amen!

This Tuesday, the 22nd of July, Asia witnessed the longest solar eclipse of the 21st century. As the so-called educated modern urban young India enthusiastically got ready to watch the most spectacular phenomenon in the universe, there was this bunch of parents in a remote village in Karnataka busy digging graves (they called them pits) for their special children to make the best use of the super natural power manifesting itself during the eclipse. Children with physical and mental ailments were partially or completely buried in mud for three long hours. The parents believed that, by doing so, the kids would get rid of their disabilities.

Somehow, the news was not really shocking for me. This is not something new or unheard of, in India. This is just one of those several incidents where innocent and ignorant people perform all kind of weird rituals, thanks to millions of gods and thousands of religions/castes/communities in a truly diverse nation.

You can throw your month old baby from temple top, you can bury your kids alive for several minutes, you can offer human sacrifices in pursuit of treasure, you can walk on fire, you can build religious institutions and make money, you can become a god-man/god-woman and fool around with people, you can kill people in communal clashes, you can mass hypnotize people and make them believe what they see or hear is the ultimate truth, you can play cheap political games, you can pass an order to perform pooja at all temples in the state and pray for rains!, you have every right to hate a complete nation or race, you can throw stones at guilty, you can assault and sexually abuse women and children. All this and much more in the name of God and Religion.

When someone gets to know that I’m an atheist, first question he/she asks is, ‘oh did something happen in your life, because of which you lost faith?’ I just smile and say ‘No, nothing personal :-)’. Having been brought up by my maternal grandparents who were a pious and god-fearing family, I have played my part of being a good, religious, weekly-temple-going kid. As I started getting to know the world around me, I could see so much of hatred that I started questioning myself if it is really necessary to follow a religion or believe in something that you cannot perceive. Thanks to my dad who let me follow, rather ‘not follow’ what I did not believe in. My mom’s effort to persuade me will continue forever.

I was having this interesting conversation with Ken where I was trying to explain why I believe in what I believe. I was under the impression that he will not be able to completely understand my justification considering the place where he comes from. I thought, in his country, they followed one religion, believed in one god and most importantly valued human lives. But, I was surprised and also saddened by his response. He said, ‘It’s not just in India, my friend, it’s all over the world’

I am aware of the other side of the story too. I do understand the positive aspects. I like visiting temples and churches when they are not packed, though I don’t pray, because I like the ambience. I do respect swamijis who talk sense and who are trying to do their bit to the society. I have nothing against people who believe in God. I respect their feelings, beliefs and actions as long as they do not harm anyone around.

I'm everything I'm because...

I found this email while I was looking for something in my gmail inbox...it brought back a lot of ‘sweet’ and ‘not so sweet’ memories…..it was sent by one of my bestest friends….he had dedicated this beautiful song ‘I’m everything I’m….’ to me to make up for not calling me or writing to me for a while…it was actually quite a while ….i’m not sure if ‘I’ or ‘this song’ means anything to him now….things have changed….our lives have changed…..our worlds have changed…..we hardly talk to each other and either of us don’t feel the need to make up for it…..we still are friends and that we will remain forever no matter what….whether we meet or not….whether we call or not….whether we mail or not…….whether we chat or not……

As you are ready to enter the most beautiful phase of your life, may you be blessed with all the love and happiness .....cos you truly deserve it…..take care goobe....

Happy Second Anniversary!

I have met a lot of couples in love; I have seen a lot of relationships very closely. After having seen all that, when I ask myself what love is, even before I think about it, the first image that comes to my mind is 'Aysh and Jof sitting on the wooden bench' and then of course a slide show of all your happy moments together starts playing.

Congratulations to the world’s cutest, sweetest, coolest, most adorable and wonderful couple in the world.
For me, you guys are the synonyms for love, commitment, loyalty and much more.

Today, when you celebrate two years of your married life and almost nine years of friendship, I wish you both many more days, months, years, decades and lives of love, happiness and togetherness.

Happy Anniversary Aysh and Jof!

Remember the first flush of love that drew you powerfully together?

It still feeds the unassailable bondthat makes your marriage so secure.

Remember all the qualities about each other you found so endearing?

They are still there, and new ones create sweet surprises.

Remember thinking that this love would last forever?

Your love has strengthened and grown into eternal affection and admiration.

Years from now, you'll look back at this anniversary and realize

you love each other more than ever.

Happy Anniversary!

Jeevada Geleya

Certain emotions and feelings that i thought can never be put into words have been so beautifully, thoughtfully and subtly presented in this wonderful song 'araluthirio jeevada geleya' from the super hit movie 'mungaru male'.....hats off to Jayanth sir for the fresh perspective he has brought into kannada songs...this song, in terms of lyrics, is the best song that I've ever heard in my life. Enjoy madi.


Araluthiro jeevada geleya, snehada sinchanadalli,
baadadiru snehada hoove, premada bandhanadalli,
manasalle irali bhavane, midiyuthirali mouna veene,
heege summane.....

Hakkiyu haadide thanna hesaranu helade,
sampige beeride kampanu yarigu kelade,
beesuva gaaliya hakkiya haadina nantige hesarina hangilla,
namageke adara yochane,
beda geleya nantige hesaru yaake summane.

Maathige meerida bhavada selethave sundara,
nalumeyu tumbida manasige baaradu besara,
baala dariyali bereyadaru, chandira baruvanu namma jothe,
kaanuvenu avanali ninnane,
irali geleya ee anubandha, heege summane....

Araluthiro jeevada geleya!

Shshsh.....

I have got this sudden urge to write……write everything that’s running in my mind….i feel restless with all the overflowing thoughts looking for a few words to rest on.....hence this blog….

what better way to start, than to talk about my friends for life…..i have always been extremely lucky with friends…..i’ve found best of friends in every phase of my life……sometimes I feel everything I’ve lost in life is compensated by the wonderful friends I have and the kind of love and affection I have received from them…..
I read this in a friend’s status message on gtalk….Everyone has a "best friend" during each stage of life-only a precious few have the same one…..i am one of those few blessed ones……if you are wondering what ‘shshsh’ is, it’s us..aysh, sush and rash :-)…..this post is for ‘us’…..nine years is a long time…..there is no way I can put everything that we have gone through together as friends in words…..i’ve tried my best……......

From classmates to benchmates to soulmates
From Zodiac to Safar to Shshsh….
From acquaintance to friends to best of friends…

From crush to love to wedding....
From NIE to Infosys….

We have come a long way…..
stood for each other in good times and bad….in smiles and tears….
seen each other lose loved ones for death and for nothing…..
all those wonderful times spent together….
rides to chamundi…..walk in the rain…..endless chats….
paradise bakery….cycle stand….aunty’s icecream parlour….
trips…outings….class bunks….night outs….
walking into YJ’s class at the end of the session…..
tweety…..OC…..obsessive compulsive disorder!….
birthdays…celebrations…surprises…gifts…..
night outs in infy hostel…. yap… yap….yap…. yap…..
all those beautiful cards with wonderful words in them….sometimes it felt like ‘Archies’ guys knew what exactly we thought….

I can’t imagine how I would have survived everything I have, without you guys in my life…..
thank you for being my guardian angels….
thanks for listening to me…..for helping me take decisions, move on, see beyond past and present, overcome my fears and insecurities, for keeping my secrets, for sharing your dreams and let me share mine…...

thanks for being what you are and for making me what I am…….

I love you both :-)